The most important news any visitor to Britain would see would appear to be:-

(1) Jonathon Ross and Russell Brand's childish joke on the radio leaving silly messages on the answer phone of actor Andrew Sachs or Manuel as he will always be known to a certain generation, claiming Russell Brand had ****** his granddaughter or something. Everyone knows Ross is a pillock and Brand is just not funny - he looks like a child molestor to me. Yet 32,000 yes 32,000, people had so little in their lives they rang in to complain.

(2) A cricketer's pregnant wife was seen sitting on the knee of the bllionaire throwing money at them to play in some exhibition game for his own fun. The uproar was ridiculous. I guess he must have forced her. I guess she must not be a grown up with a mind of her own, she must be retarded, she musn't be accepting his hospitality in the carribean in late October while her husband prostitutes the game for the chase for lots of money. Dignity has gone out of the window and Stanford must be having the biggest ego trip of his life.

Meanwhile in the world ................................ A global financial crisis, teenagers getting stabbed in Liverpool, speed cameras breeding like rabbits, tory ministers chasing money on yachts, british soldiers wasting their time in Afghanistan. Mobilise the 10,000 to do something worthwhile and who knows what could be achieved.

You couldn't make it up ........................