The most irritating time of the year

Early November/ late October is the most annoying time of the year. Obviously it signifies a change of seasons after October but I don't mind that. You adjust to the seasons as long as you don't do the English thing of going on about it all the time.

No the reason I find it annoying is because it contains 2 of the annoying days of the year -

(1) Halloween - as far as I am concerned this is still a relatively new day which serves no purpose. Much of the "trick or treat" stuff is an import from the USA where many of them have got nothing else to do in late October, in Iowa for example. What is its point other than to encourage kids to believe if they put a bit of crap on their face and pester people they will end up getting presents and stuff off people. Some are so organised I'm sure they are run by Fagin. Most of them can't do any tricks other than to put their hands out. No wonder kids are so materialistic. This is where Alan Sugar recruits his staff from, not those losers on his television show. My suggestion is to change the name to "Extortion night" to differentiate us from the US. One year I politely told a large group Oliver Twists that sorry I was busy enoying myself, that they were disturbing that and that wiping your nose on a sleeve was not a trick. My reward for this? 10 minutes later 2 eggs splattered on my window. If I'd had my trousers on I would have chased them and showed them a trick involving a hand and an ear and it wouldn't have been a treat. It's begging for kids - stop it now. A bar of chocolate won't do any more - they want an ipod.

(2) Bonfire night - the amount of security around in this country is frightening. The number of surveillance cameras is a disgrace for a country like England. Big brother is not a television show - it is England today. Why are people so passive about it? The reason we are told is security because we have a threat from terrorists. And yet for one day anyone can start fires going, make a huge amount of noise, set off fireworks once called mortars and cover up any terrorist act. And the most annoying thing is how it has now become not 1 night but at least 3 - the night, the Saturday before, the Saturday after. The amount of **** sent into the atmosphere is also huge. What about the environment, global warming and all that. Be responsible.It's had its day - end it.

As someone who has had 3 kids and had many of the most boring nights of my life at the annual firework show where you are polite with lots of people you don't know I have done my bit. But it is time to move on and make November a more lovable month.

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