(1) Previously I have commented on reports that the Red Squirrel was making a comeback in parts of the UK after being nearly wiped out by the pox ridden Grey Squirrel. A more aggressive common squirrel who now ruled the squirrel world . Some misinformed people think they are cute. They're not. They're poxy aggressive animals! Well just to illustrate how you should not get too cocky it now appears that in parts of England these greys are getting kicked out by the Black Squirrel! In Herts and Cambridgeshire particularly around Da Letchworth Massif the Black Squirrel rules OK? This version isn't as poxy but is even more aggressive and testosterone fuelled than the now weedy grey. Apparently it will mate with anything that moves(as long as it is cute of course) and has no concept of monogomy. Tests have shown it has exactly the same genes as a North American squirrel(you know the ones which show half your a**e). This proves the original must have been been brought over from the US, escaped or been let loose, and immediately starting mating with anything with a bushy tale and a nut in its mouth. So once again it's the americans fault! The Greys were originally introduced by the Victorians purposely but how did the original black get here? Only someone in Letchworth knows this and it is as big a mystery as why you want to live in Letchworth! This is so interesting the Dr Alan Thomas at Anglia Ruskin University(sorry which University?) has applied for a grant to enable him to investigate this at length and buy a new Mercedes. Isn't there something more useful this bloke can do for his money provided from the public purse?
(2) Women have more nightmares than men!
Once again fascinating information supplied by the Daily Telegraph and academia. A researcher from The University of West England ( the what University? Has anyone heard of it?) has said women have more nightmares than men apparently and "of deeper emotional intensity". Wow women are more emotional than men are they? You don't really need a study at a University to know that now do you - just walk the street or go to a movie with a woman, or run over a dog! The testing was done on students from the University and more women reported having nightmares than men. Really! Mind you the men were all so drunk they couldn't differentiate between nightmares and what they had done the night before. The researcher said her own recurring nightmare was sitting on a beach at Weston Super Mare(which is a bad one I agree) and Dinosaurs walking the streets. I think she must have been in Rochdale or Southend. Either way she should give up the drugs. In addition men's and women's definition of what is a nightmare are completely different. Some women would say not being able to find the colour shoes she wanted was a nightmare and some men would say spending 2 hours looking for them together was a nightmare. Not me of course.People exaggerate and the use of the term "nightmare" like "genius" is overused.
3) Nothing is more English still than the traditional English breakfast."A full English" as so often seen in bars in Spain, Portugal, Majorca and other holiday destinations. A mixture of proteins and starches (and fat), heaped together on a plate – substantial. You start with the backbone of bacon and eggs, but often it goes totally over the top! Yes the beans and the sausage the toast and hash browns! Fry it up and pile it on! You need to dig up a road to burn it off.
But maybe the Spanish are sick of seeing this on the menu so I came across this Spanish chef who has put forward an alternative version. Do you think it will catch on? Here is the cheeky spaniard's version!
"I threw together this version. I had some leftover fabada (a Spanish bean stew) with I used for the beans element. Since my fabada had bacon slab, chorizo, and morcilla, I figured that covered the bacon, sausage, and black pudding. Instead of hash browns I used leftover roast potatoes (from a roast chicken dish) which I refried in olive oil with shallots, red pepper, and olives to stay within the Spanish theme. I then fried an egg in some chorizo oil**, smooshed everything onto a plate with a small baguette, and dove right in! This type of breakfast is an excellent way to use leftovers, like I’ve done here with the beans and potatoes. It is also the type of breakfast that works great if you are in need of major fortification. Or cheering up. Or if it’s a Sunday and you want to be lazy and piggy. And it does wonders for a hangover."
It will be available in cafes soon as "a full spanish" probably.
4) Finally for those of you who missed the swearing in of the new president of the USA please click on the video below. It's ok it is my pleasure to help
OBAMA SWEARS IN...FAITHFULLY - watch more funny videos
2 comments:
I think we can all agree that this never really bordered on genius and was more nightmarish throughout. Good effort though x
nice post..funny...martin
Post a Comment