UK goes soft and "precious"

Is it just me thinks this country has gone too soft and precious for it's own good. A number of news items and developments make me cringe at how weedy, precious and pretentious many have become in today's UK. So below are a number of examples which caught my eye

(1) At the totally badly named Chessington World of Adventure in Surrey sprouts are the favourite delicacy of the Gorillas there. Unfortunately they were taken off the menu after complaints from "the public" that the flatulence was overpowering. I don't think Surrey's finest would be much good on an adventure involving animals from the wild if they are traumatised by a farting Gorilla. Years ago at Chester Zoo the Orangatangs used to throw **** at the public gawping at them. It was great fun unless you were hit by some of course! And if you got too near the elephants it was like being in a car wash only there was no body wax. At Chessington the elephants are getting no water in case they piss on little Rupert. Now I may be wrong but I think humans like sprouts, particulary at Xmas, too. Even in Surrey! Unless everyone in Surrey can get special genetically modified sprouts with zero fartability I can't help but think many a dinner party in Guildford must have experienced the aroma of more than roast chestnuts. Get real please.!

(2)At the gym I sometimes use I arrived for some post Xmas detox to be told that a new rule had been introduced saying everybody had to wear a bathing cap in the pool. You must be joking I thought and asked why. Apparently some of the "lady" members had complained of swimming into hair floating on top of the water. It is a gym! Not a manicure lounge. People swim in there, not pose. Physical exercise results in many things coming out of the body. Trust me. The chemicals in the water kill off most germs. Do we need to wear them in a jacuzzi because believe me some people behave like Gorillas after a sprout binge in there. Especially in Surrey when they have been going red in the face holding it in at the dinner party. Oh yes! Where once the pool was an image of people swimming with abandon now it will look like the synchronised swimming of sperm. No way. Time for people to speak up. I already have about 6 rebels lined up. To follow this line of thinking we will need nappies to protect our "lower regions" as you will find more than a few hairs(although there may be a different type) on an exercise ball when you sit on it after someone elses vigorous session. Trust me! People swim in rivers, streams, the sea, lakes - you name it. A few hairs? Get over yourself.

3) Office girls in the restaurant - you are not a little princess just because your dad said your are. What would he know about princesses? Nor are you in Los Angeles and you are not a celebrity. Stop making so much noise and acting like pretentious children demanding service and making a fuss or instead of being a princess you will be a slapper. Be yourself and have a little humility. You are ordinary. It's ok.

If you need to live in a totally sanitised environment you should be in sheltered accommodation. If you think you are a princess you need a) a personality b) Help

Happy New Year